Coffee Talk

Living LebowskiCoffee Talk


Let’s coffee-talk. The low long table in front of your sofa that has served as a catch all for your bong, cigarette butts, dirty dishes, carry-out fast food bags, and magazines once suited a different purpose. Under the layer of marijuana shake, cigarette ash and dust mites sits a table that use to function as an utilitarian furnishing that centered the living room.


Listen, Lebowski!  Living “the dude” lifestyle suggests you’re a no status, underachiever, have no desire to excel at your career and don’t take time management seriously.  Leaving the house creates a high risk situation. You’ll probably forget your wallet and will be so inebriated leaving the bar that police will zero in on you like a bee to a flower.   When johnny-law pats you down, he’ll find your dime bag and by process of association the girl you’re trying to kick-it to will be found guilty along with you.

If you don’t want to strike out, this is your chance to redefine your space. First and foremost get rid of the garbage and other illegal substances on the table. This includes reading material that was once meant to attract a lady. A coffee table book on the ten most exotic getaways only reinforces that fact that you can’t afford a trip in a down economy. You are locked down in the city like Bernie Madoff in a jail cell.


A glass table with wooden borders is evidence for police that you are open to a post-Lebowski era.  Glass has the propensity to trap fingerprints and retain layers of dust.  Return it immediately to the Salvation Army you brought it from.


An upholstered ottoman is a smart, sophisticated and tailored approach to a coffee table that hits the mark as a center piece. With the ottoman you can get creative with legs or decorative nail heads. It should be a contrasting fabric to the couch. With a leather sofa, think textured solid like corduroy or a dark neutral duck cloth. If your sofas are fabric, this may be a good opportunity to bring leather in!


Cool for Coffee


Kept clean it can work as extra seating and be a soft surface to kick up your feet.  It also may prevent you from taking every meal by the couch. Put a rug underneath. Even the dude once said, “The rug really tied the room together.”



One thought on “Coffee Talk

  1. cloth ottoman? good luck balancing your coffee on that amorphous surface. ditto for the bong or any other liquid filled beveraging apparatus. perhaps you should also be recommending a good fabric cleaner – or wait, is that /her/ job?


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